I Was Abused In prison By A Female Guard TRUE STORY

He come to me, he like,

“Yo D, do me a favor.”

I say,

“What? What is it?”

Like,

“Hey, listen, at the dinner time, stay off the cell. Give me about 15–20 minutes and then you can come up. Matter of fact, when the white sheet is down, then you can come in.”

It’s not unusual that your celly would ask you to not to come in the cell. He might want to talk to his girl, he might kind of conduct some business that he don’t want you involved in, you never know what the case may be. So it’s not unusual for a request like that from your bunky. So I said,

“All right, cool.”

Dinner time rolls around. I’m downstairs watching TV. I think they got a special on the National Geographic Discovery Channel about when tigers attack. About 15 minutes roll around, and I get up and I go upstairs to see is he done doing what he’s doing. I hear some noise. It’s like some grunting noises. So I’m like… and I know he ain’t in there mess with no punk, I don’t think he mess with punks. He might just be in there, you know, talking to girl on the phone, get one off. Yeah, that’s what that is, that’s what that is. So I walked off. The white sheet was still up, so I walked off.

Then about 10 minutes later, I come back upstairs and the white sheet is down. So I walk in the cell, I hop on top of my bunk, and I’m like… I’m like,

“You straight, man?”

He’s like,

“Yeah, man, I’m good, I’m good, I’m good, I’m real good.”

I’m like,

“Oh, okay.”

So, you know, prison stuff, ain’t nothing to it, it is what it is.

So I go to bed. I get woken up around three o’clock in the morning. Now, the first movement time is 6:00 a.m. I’m told that a detective want to talk to me in the chaplain. So I’m like,

“What the heck going on?”

So I get up, get my stuff on, and this guy escort me to the chaplain. So I’m sitting there waiting and waiting and waiting, and I end up going to sleep. About an hour later, it’s about four o’clock in the morning, I get brought back to my cell and I’m like,

“Yo, what… what’s going on? I thought a detective wanted to talk to me.”

You know, CO like,

“Something came up.”

I’m like,

“Okay, that’s weird.”

So I hopped back in the bed, I go back to sleep.

Count time. So I get up off my bed, make the bed up, wake my bunky up, and we stand up for count. We go back in and I lay back down. He leaves out the cell. I’m gonna say about 40 minutes later, I get up, get my towel, and I… and I get in the shower. About five minutes later, I’m heading back upstairs and I see the white sheet up. What the heck is it still doing? I’m like,

“Yo, yo, yo, I’m about to come in.”

He’s like,

“Yo, yo, hold up, hold up, hold up, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute, hold up.”

So I’m like,

“Dude, I’m not waiting, I’m about to come in.”

So he like,

“Just… just… just chill, just wait, just wait a minute, wait a minute.”

So I’m like,

“All right, man.”

So he said… he said,

“Come in, come here, come here, come here.”

So I come in and he look all disheveled. I’m like,

“What?”

I’m like,

“Man, what is you doing?”

“Oh, no, I was just here working out and, um, I don’t want people to see what I’m in here doing. I’m just working out.”

So I’m like,

“You’re just working out? What you mean you don’t want people see what you… All right, whatever.”

So as a courtesy, you got to turn your back when your celly getting dressed. So he stands over there by the cell with his back turned, and I’m over there by toilet, put my stuff on, and he like,

“Yo, bro, could you hurry up?”

I’m like,

“What you mean can I hurry up? You don’t put my deodorant on. What you mean can I hurry up? I’m saying, man, chill out.”

He like,

“Yeah, yeah, just hurry up, man. I need to sit… I need to hold the cell.”

I’m like… I’m like,

“God dang, man, just wait a minute! I just got up in here.”

He’s like,

“Yeah, yeah, I know, but you know you’re breaking my concentration.”

I’m like,

“All right, man, whatever.”

I said,

“Can I brush my teeth? Can I at least brush my teeth?”

He’s like,

“Yeah, yeah, come on, come on, man, come on.”

I’m brushing my teeth and I hear like a walkie-talkie and I’m like, oh, it must be a dip coming down. I’m like, whatever. So I’m brushing my teeth or whatever. So I get done, so he’s like,

“Yo, bro, yeah, just come back, just come back later.”

So I’m like,

“All right.”

So he damn near pushed me off the cell.

So I leave and I hit the yard. We out there for two hours, you know, I’m talking to my people, getting the latest gossip on the yard. I always tell y’all, inmates always gossiping. You think women gossip? No, men gossip way worser than women.

I come off the yard and I go back to my block, and my bunky standing up on the second tier looking at… he motioning like this for me to come up there. So I go up there. I’m like… I’m like,

“What’s up?”

He was like,

“Hey, bro, I didn’t mean to, you know, try to rush you out the cell, but hey, um, I had some wild stuff going on right now.”

I said,

“What’s up?”

He was like,

“I’ll tell you about… I’ll tell you about it later. But listen, at dinner time again, can you not come to the cell? And, you know, I’m gonna be doing something up in there.”

So I’m like,

“Man…”

I’m like,

“Bro, what’s going on? What you got going on up in here?”

He like,

“No, no, it ain’t nothing.”

I’m like,

“Check this out, whatever you got going on in there…”

He’s like,

“No, no, no, don’t worry about it, ain’t no… it ain’t gonna get you in trouble. It ain’t nothing that’s gonna get us in trouble. I’m not in here… I’m not moving nothing, I’m not selling nothing. I’m just… I’m just… Just trust me, I got this.”

So I’m like,

“All right, all right, whatever, man.”

So like clockwork, this will go on for five days, five days straight: Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday.

So Saturday rolls around. I finally ask, I’m like,

“Yo, bro, I’m coming upstairs next time.”

He… he like,

“Bro, man, just chill, I’ll let you know what’s going on. I’ll let you…”

I’m like,

“I’m on edge, I don’t like being in the dark, man. What’s going on, man?”

“I tell you what, Monday I’ll let you know what’s going on.”

Matter of fact, we’re going to fast forward all the way to Monday at exactly 10:00 p.m. after dinner time.

So I come in from the lunchroom, a.k.a. the chow hall, and I go upstairs and he right there at the door with a smile on his face. I’m like,

“All right, so what… what’s the deal? What’s going on?”

So he got up real close up to me, he was like,

“Hey, what I was doing in the cell, you know you can’t tell nobody. Matter of fact, what you see in the cell, you can’t tell nobody at all.”

So I’m like,

“What?”

I said,

“What’s in there?”

He like,

“It ain’t what’s in there, it’s who in there.”

I say,

“What? Who in there?”

So he was like,

“Come on.”

So we go in there. I see the CO, Sarah. Sarah is an old white woman, late 60s or early 70s, I really can’t tell, but this woman was old. I see what I see, but it’s not processing up here. I’m like, what the heck?

So he like,

“Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.”

He like,

“Sarah, this my man right here. He cool, he cool. I let him know what’s going on.”

And so she got up and she was like,

“Um, okay.”

So I’m like,

“Okay what?”

Then he was like,

“Well, you know, this… this my thing, this my boo thang over here.”

And I’m like,

“Okay.”

And he was like… he was like,

“Yeah, I’ve been talking to her, and you know, she like, yeah, she’ll let you join, too.”

And I’m like,

“Join what?”

He like,

“Man, that’s how we be getting down up in here. It’s my girl.”

I was like,

“Nah, I’m straight, I’m good.”

She was like,

“What, you gay or something?”

I said,

“Oh, no, no, no, no, no. I’m practicing celibacy. I’m in here locked up, I got 10 years, man. I’m not… you know, I’m a spiritual man and I don’t… I don’t… I don’t involve in them type of things.”

So she looked me up and down with concern on her face:

“Do I gotta worry about him?”

He’s like,

“No, no, no, let me talk to him.”

So me and him step out the cell. He’s like,

“Bro, what’s up with you, man? What’s wrong with you?”

I said,

“What’s wrong with you? Also, I’m not touching that, you crazy! Not even the fact that if we in here doing something to this woman and another guard walk past and hear and come in there and they see us, got her bust down spread-eagle style up in here, this woman can scream that we snatched her in this cell and violated her! I’m not about the eggs, no! And for that, nah, I’m good, I’m straight.”

He like,

“No, no, man, it’s my girl, man, chill out, chill. I got this.”

I said,

“Not even that, man. I don’t… I don’t… Look, I… I… I… I, uh, I’m good, I’m straight. I’m not attracted to that at all, at all. I wants no piece of that.”

He’s like,

“Well, all right, man, but just… all right, all right.”

I said,

“Don’t worry, man, I’m not gonna say nothing. I’m not gonna mess up what you got going on. That’s… that’s you. Trust me, I’m good, that’s all you. I’m good, I’m straight.”

So we go back in the cell, I hop on my bunk, and sure enough, she get to taking her stuff off and he gets to take his stuff off, and he bust it down right there on the bed. I’m like, ugh, ugh. So, you know, they do what they do, and he get up, she get up, and she putting her stuff back on, she adjusting her stuff, and then she walked out.

And he like,

“Man, bro, you do not know what you missing.”

“I’m straight, I’m good. Yeah, that’s all you, man.”

He like,

“Man, you crazy, man. I would have… Yeah, you just don’t know.”

So later on that night, I… I asked, so I’m like,

“Yo, how long this been going on with y’all?”

Like,

“Man, I’ve been busting her down for like three weeks now.”

I said,

“Oh, okay.”

I said,

“I mean, like, how did that happen?”

“One of my homeboys that went home, he put me on there, man. She like tall Black dudes.”

I said,

“Okay.”

So I said,

“Oh, so she been getting around up here?”

He was like,

“Nah, nah, it’s just me. She was messing with old boy and he left, and he put me on to her. So, you know, me and her been rocking out ever since. She’s supposed to be bringing me a cell phone up here, too. Whenever you need to use it, we’ll crack it open.”

I said,

“I bet.”

So I go to bed. So two weeks go on, either every day or every other day he’ll be in there busting her down spread-eagle style. Sometimes I’ll be in the cell, sometimes I won’t be in the cell.

Y’all remember earlier in the story when I told y’all I was led off the cell at three o’clock in the morning to go to the chaplain because a so-called detective want to talk to me? She was that guard that led me out. I guess that was the time that she wanted to get her freak on with my celly. So, yeah, I see her roll up in there around two, three o’clock in the morning and then get their freak on. It worked Saturday or Sunday.

So we’re going to fast forward to Saturday morning. It’s about four o’clock in the morning, my bunky like,

“Ow!”

So I’m like, man, what’s this dude doing? Is he having a bad dream? Because the way I’m laying on my back at this time, and I just keep hearing,

“Ah!”

Now, usually when your celly go use the bathroom, you turn the other way, and if you sleep, you just knocked out. So I keep hearing him say,

“Ow!”

Then I hear like the toilet… like pee dropping in the toilet. So I turn my body this way to face the wall, and he like,

“Ah!”

I’m like… I said,

“You straight, man?”

He’s like,

“Yeah… no, man, I’m not straight, man.”

I said,

“What’s going on?”

He said,

“Man, I think this b burnt me.”

And I… and I turned like,

“Burnt you?”

He was like,

“Ah, man, yeah, yeah, yeah, ah!”

So I’m like, that’s crazy. So he flushed the toilet and he got back in the bed and he like,

“Oh, man, man, I think this b burnt me.”

This is why I say prison is like hell: every time you think you got a good thing going on, it’s something that comes with it, something bad that comes with it. So while he was in there getting his freak on with old lady, Sarah gave him a little gift and now he’s suffering through it. So he just tossing, turning, groaning, moaning all throughout the night. I don’t put my headphones on, blocking out his results of him fornicating in prison with this prison guard.

At the count, he put a request in and go to medical. To the right of my cell, one of my homeboys from Detroit, and he tell me, he like,

“Yo, what was going on with dude last night? I heard him last night, you know, like moaning and groaning. Like, what… what’s up? What was… what was going on with dude?”

I said,

“Shoot, I mean, maybe he was having a nightmare or something, I don’t know.”

He said,

“Oh, okay, I was just checking.”

So, you know, I go out to the yard walking the track with my homeboys. My celly come out there on the yard and he come right to me. He said,

“Hey D, let me talk to you right quick.”

So I break off from the pack and me and him get to walking. He’s like,

“Man, man, this b gave me gonorrhea, man!”

I was like,

“You must used no protection?”

He was like,

“No, man! Why would I use protection on her, man? She can’t have kids. Shoot, I’m the only one that she messing around with in here, so why would I… I wasn’t even thinking about no protection, why…”

I said,

“You sure that you’re the only one she messing around with?”

He was like,

“Yeah, that’s what she told me.”

I said,

“Well, I mean, you know, just like in the streets, you know, you can’t trust these women out here.”

I said,

“Well, it is what it is.”

He said,

“Man, I can’t wait till Monday when she come up in here, I can’t wait.”

So we’re gonna fast forward to Monday. So Monday roll around, it’s count time, me and him outside the cell. Sarah and another CO is doing count, so they… when they get to us, he’s looking at her like this.

About 10 minutes later, here she come in the cell. She like,

“What was that all about?”

He’s like,

“Man, you burnt me! You gave me gonorrhea!”

She was like,

“What are you talking about?”

He was like,

“Yeah, you’re the only person I’ve been with up in here! I ain’t no homo, I’m not gay, you’re the only person I’ve been with up here. You gave me gonorrhea!”

She like,

“Well, I don’t know what you talking about. I do not know what you’re talking about! You the only man that I’ve been with.”

He’s like,

“Man, come on, man, just tell me the truth, man! You messing with somebody else in here?”

She’s like,

“No, why would I do that?”

So I say,

“Yo, I’m about to head out, y’all.”

So I get off the bunk and I roll out. As I’m going downstairs, this dude named Jay Rock approached me. He like,

“Hey, bro, let me… let me… can I talk to you over here for a minute?”

I’m like,

“Yeah, what’s up?”

“You know, I’m not trying to disrespect you, but I don’t caught on to your play.”

I’m like, what is he talking about, my play? He’s like,

“Yeah, man, I already know the deal, man. I know you breaking off CO Sarah.”

I’m like,

“What?”

He was like,

“Man, come on, bro, I… I know what you up there doing. She always going to your cell. You forgot my cell is down here? I can see right to your… to your cell. I see her going in and out of your cell all the time.”

Little do he know, nah, that ain’t my play, that’s his play. So I’m like,

“Nah, man, I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

I said,

“Listen, we ain’t got nothing to talk about.”

He was like,

“Well, I tell you what, I don’t care, I don’t give a f***, I’mma tell on you. I’mma drop a kite.”

So I’m like,

“For real, you gonna do that?”

He’s like,

“Listen, man, I’m not trying to disrupt what you got going on, but I’m just trying to get in on it.”

So I’m like,

“What… what do you think we doing?”

He like,

“See, I knew, I got you, I got you! I know y’all was doing something.”

So I said, you know what… So I’m thinking to myself like, you know what, I don’t like this dude, so I’m gonna get him. I’m gonna get him exactly what he’s looking for. So I say,

“You know what, come with me, let’s… let’s go talk. Come on, let’s go in and talk business.”

He’s like,

“Yeah, yeah, see, I know I liked you, man! I knew I liked you.”

So we walking around the pod and I’m like,

“Okay, listen, yeah, Sarah a freak, man. This, that, whoopty-whoa, man, she doing this to me, she be doing that to me, she be breaking it down, she be spread-eagle style all over the bed.”

He’s like,

“Word?”

He said,

“Oh, man, I knew she looked like… I knew she was a freak!”

So I’m just geeking his head up. So he’s like,

“Man, what’s up on the play, man? Is she bringing anything in?”

I’m like,

“No, we ain’t get to that point yet.”

But I said,

“Check this out, I’m gonna put you on it, though, if that’s what you want. I’m gonna put in a request for us to switch cells, right?”

Because he didn’t have no celly. So I’m breaking this whole play down, so we put the request in. Birds of a feather flock together, right?

So I shoot upstairs and tell my celly what the play is. He know what you and Sarah been doing.

He’s like,

“I know that.”

I said,

“Well, he been watching. Matter of fact, not only he been watching, he think it’s me that’s doing that with Sarah.”

He like,

“Word?”

I said,

“Yeah.”

He’s like,

“Who? Who?”

I said,

“Jay Rock.”

He said,

“Oh, Jay Rock my dude! Jay Rock my dude.”

I said,

“Well, that’s even better.”

He was like,

“You know what, yeah, yeah, I think that’ll be a good idea.”

He’s like,

“Yeah, but, man, I need to figure out is she messing around with anybody else up here.”

I said,

“In the meantime, just ask her to bring in condoms.”

He like,

“Yeah, you right, man, you right. See, I always like you, man, you smart, you smart.”

That does not take a rocket scientist to come up with that idea.

So about four days later, the transfer happened. I get my stuff, I take it downstairs. He get his stuff, he bring it upstairs. I’m out of the equation now. So later on that night, around three o’clock in the morning, after Sarah do her rounds, she stop right at the cell and goes in, and the white sheet goes up. So I’m like, oh… oh, Sarah, what? Oh, so… oh, this is just… Oh, there you go right there. I can only imagine what they’re in there doing to Sarah. Ugh.

So this would go along and go on for about two weeks. My ex-celly and Jay Rock end up getting into a fight. I don’t know what it was over, but Jay Rock ended up knocking my celly teeth out his mouth. He took out all his fronts right here. I don’t know what it was about. It could have been about Sarah, it could have been about them making a play together and somebody tried to backstab one or the other. Remember, this is prison, right? Whatever it was, they got to rumbling in that cell and my ex-celly got his teeth knocked out. So they go to the hole.

A day later, Sarah approached me. She say,

“Hey, let me talk to you.”

I said,

“What’s up?”

She was like,

“Hey, um, I’ve been thinking about you.”

And I’m like,

“Okay, what’s up?”

She was like,

“Well, I… I wanna… I want you to… I want to come… I want to put you… I’m putting you… I’m putting you in your old cell.”

And I’m like,

“For what?”

She was like,

“Because I want to talk to you tonight.”

So I’m like,

“All right, all right, whatever.”

See, I’m gonna tell y’all something: I knew what she wanted, but what can I really do? If I tell her no, she can bring pressure on me, she could make my life a living hell. Remember, I told y’all this is their house. What am I supposed to do, write a grievance? Write a kite to the… to the CO, to the sergeant, to the warden and say,

“Hey, your employee trying to mess around with me?”

Come on, man. So I’m like,

“No, I really like my cell.”

She like,

“Come on, I’m transferring you.”

She walked off, so I’m like,

“Oh, man, whatever.”

True to her word, here I go packing my stuff up and I’m bringing it back to my old cell.

So she comes in there. She was like,

“Well, since my husband isn’t here no more, you know, I need something from you.”

I’m like,

“What you need from me?”

So she walk up to me, she get close to me, and I’m like… She got this look in her eyes and I’m like, oh… So she get up close up on me, she got this look in her eye and she’s like,

“Well, I’m gonna get mine, and you gonna give it to me.”

And she grabbed me and I’m like,

“Yo, yo, yo!”

And she like,

“Yeah, I’ll be back here tonight.”

She like,

“Uh-uh, I want you here and now, right now, drop…”

I’m like,

“Yo, yo, chill!”

She said,

“Uh-uh, I need… I want you now.”

I said,

“Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait!”

I said,

“So you just gonna take it?”

So she like,

“Yeah, come on.”

I said,

“Listen, I need some time to warm up to this.”

Y’all gotta remember, man, this woman got to be pushing her late 60s, early 70s, right? I just felt like my skin was crawling at this point in time.

So she like,

“Yeah, come on, come on, let’s go.”

So she trying to undress me and I’m like,

“Yo, chill!”

So I grabbed her by her shoulders and I like… like drive her strong and I’m like,

“Yo, just chill out, wait a minute!”

So she’s like,

“Oh, I like that.”

So she trying to like kiss me, like come in and kiss me. I’m like… so I’m bobbing and weaving like this, right? So she’s like,

“Oh, yeah, I like that, I like you like to fight.”

So I’m like… I say,

“Listen, I need… I need some time, man, I’m…”

She’s like,

“I’m not trying to hear that.”

So she was like,

“I’m gonna be back. I will be back.”

So she leave out the cell, and I’m like, oh, my God. Right now, I’m like, what did I get myself into? Maybe I should have dropped a kite, maybe I should have checked in, maybe… maybe I should have…

So I’m sitting at the bottom bunk and I’m thinking to myself like, I am not about to let this woman touch me again, it’s not gonna happen. I know dudes out there be like,

“Man, you crazy, man, I would have broke that down right there in the cell, right then and there, I don’t care how old she is.”

Let me tell y’all something: I got morals and I got standards, and them standards right there, it’s way below my minimum. That ain’t happening, that’s out.

So I’m sitting there and I’m thinking like, uh-uh, I’m gonna get out of this. Because not only she look like a sweet old lady, but she was aggressive with it. I’m talking about she grabbed me, she was aggressive with it. So I’m thinking like, okay, maybe… maybe if I just break her off this one time and just make it real bad? Maybe I should… maybe I should just jackhammer and just be real lousy with it?

Then I got to thinking about she giving out STDs. I’m not touching that, man, I’m… I’m just gonna have to go through the hole, I’m just gonna have to tell something. But then again, I’m thinking like, you know, I want to blow… I don’t know who this woman connected with, you know, I don’t know what’s gonna happen to me back there in the hole.

So I’m like, you know what, I’m just gonna have to man up and do what I got to do, but I’m not going into this woman without no protection. That ain’t happening, that’s out. I came in prison STD-free, I’m leaving out STD-free, and that’s the bottom line to it.

So I’m sitting there and I’m contemplating: what am I gonna do? How I’m gonna get out of this? Dante, use your thinking, use your head, use your head! How you gonna get out of here?

So I just laid back on my bed and I’m like, maybe I should just put somebody on her? Okay, well, no, I can’t do that because I can’t trust nobody in here. So now I’m thinking like, well, maybe I could just, you know, break her… break her off, but do it all sloppy and do it all nasty that she’ll be like,

“I don’t want to mess with him no more,”

something like that?

So all these things is going in my head at this particular time. So I’m like, okay, all right.

So then I walk out the cell and she at the control booth, and she eyeing me like an eagle stalking a mouse. Here she go. I feel her eyes on my back, goosebumps, the hairs on my skin got to raising up. Y’all see that? That’s just… that right there let y’all know that this really happened, yo. Y’all see my goosebumps? Y’all see the hair on my… right there, it’s lifting up. Oh, I felt that woman eyes breathing on my back.

So I’m walking and I’m like, ugh. So I’m walking, I go sit down and I’m watching TV. So I feel a presence approaching me, and she’s standing there, she like,

“You need anything?”

I said,

“No, I don’t need nothing.”

She was like,

“Well, I’m gonna be by your cell around 2:00 a.m.”

I said,

“All right.”

She was like,

“Okay, I see you then.”

So she got to walking off, and then I… I thought to myself like, you know what, if this gotta happen, it gotta happen the right way. So I got up and I walked up on her, I said,

“Hey, do me a favor. Bring some condoms.”

She looked at me, she like,

“What, you don’t trust me?”

I said,

“Listen, man, I heard what happened to my celly, and you know, I just don’t… I… I just want to… I just want to be protected, that’s all.”

She was like,

“Okay, what you… what… Magnum?”

I said,

“How you know?”

So she walk off and she go to the control board, and I go back and go sit down. Sit down and I get to watch the TV, and I hear the control booth door close. And so I look over there and I see her walking towards my way again. So she get up on me and she put her hand like right here, like on my… right here, and she like beside massaging it a little bit. She like… she like,

“You like that?”

I said,

“Yeah, yeah, that’s cool.”

And then she stopped. She was like,

“Yeah, you gonna get me in trouble up in here.”

I said,

“No, you gonna get yourself in trouble.”

Now, it might look like I was flirting back with her, but y’all, I was in a bad spot. I was in… I was stuck in between a hard place and a hard place, okay? So I’m like, all right, whatever.

So she’s like,

“Yeah, you got a whole lot… I’m gonna… I’m gonna take my time with you.”

So I’m like… I said,

“Yeah, what we gonna do?”

She’s like,

“Yo, you gonna find out. I got a lot of wisdom and I got a lot of skills, baby.”

She just walked off and I’m like, oh… So now I’m like, man, this is real. I said, you know what, I gotta get out of here, I gotta get up… I gotta get out of this situation.

Now I’m thinking to myself like, maybe I should start an argument with somebody so I can get put in the hole? What if that argument might lead to a fight? What if that fight might lead into a stabbing? What if that stabbing might lead into a death? Then I’m thinking like, all over because I didn’t want to break down Officer Sarah? I’m just gonna have to break her down.

So now it’s time for us to lock down and I can’t even sleep. I can’t sleep at all, man, I can’t sleep at all! Trying to get some rest, but that’s all I’m thinking about: this woman putting her nasty body against mine. So I’m laying there, I’m like, man, it’s really gonna happen, man, ugh.

About 2:30 rolls around and I hear her walking down the tier, you know, she doing her rounds. She walk right past my cell. I’m thinking to myself like, man, it’s just a matter of time. Oh, so… so true to her word, she ended up coming back about six minutes later. She come up in the cell, I’m acting like I’m asleep. So I’m wrapped up in my cover and I’m holding it tight, like from here to here, I’m rolled up tight like a Fruit Roll-Up.

So she come in there and she like,

“Dante… Dante…”

And I’m… I’m acting like I’m sleep hard. She’s like,

“Dante…”

And I’m like… it’s like,

“Dante…”

So I hear her, and she was like,

“You ain’t sleep.”

So she got to shaking me. So she was like,

“Oh, okay, you want to play a game? I… I only got time.”

So then she’s like trying to pull it… like pull the cover off of me. Matter of fact, I’m gonna show you… hold up. So I’m wrapped up like this, acting like I’m asleep, and she grabbing the cover like this, like just trying to get aggressive, trying to take it off, but I’m holding on to this cover for dear life, right?

So she’s like,

“Man, stop playing, stop playing! We… come on, let’s… let’s do this, let’s do this! See, like here, let’s do this, let’s do this!”

So I’m like,

“Man, no, man, no, stop, stop!”

She like… she like,

“What you mean no?”

I said… I said,

“You got the condoms?”

She like,

“Oh…”

She’s like,

“Oh, oh, no, I forgot. I get them next time.”

I said,

“No, no, we can’t do that.”

She’s like,

“No, come on, let’s do it.”

I said,

“No, man, I… I know I’m not… I can’t do it. No, you gotta go get them.”

She’s like,

“I can’t go get them, they’re in the car.”

I’m like,

“Well, we can’t do nothing then, it can’t happen.”

She’s like,

“All right, all right, whatever. All right, I’ll be back, I’ll be back.”

She like,

“Yeah, you better be ready tomorrow!”

Until she left off the cell. So I’m thinking like, yes, victory! I won this battle, I won this time.

So later on that evening, I comes back from the yard and she’s standing in front of my cell with another guard. So I’m like, hmm, what the heck going on? So I walk up there, I’m like,

“What’s going on?”

They like,

“This your cell, right?”

I said,

“Yes.”

I’m looking at them like, what the heck going on?

So she like,

“Stay out here, we finna shake your cell down.”

I’m like,

“What?”

So they go in there and they shaking it down. I’m like,

“Man, what is y’all looking for?”

Like,

“Well, we heard that you was doing tattoos up here.”

I’m like,

“Tattoos? But I don’t tattoo nobody, so I don’t know how to do no tattoos.”

They going under my bed, flipping my mattress, hook to wall, my personal belongings, everything. They going through my tub, they’re going through my locker, all that. They basically messed my cell up, and I see her, too, and she… and she been extra, too. So I’m like, man, what the heck is this all about? I’m like, all right, whatever.

So they was like,

“Well, go in there, clean it back up,”

and they walked off.

So… so I go in the cell and I’m like, man, what the heck going on?

So about 30 minutes later, she come to my cell and I’m like,

“Yo, what’s up? What’s going on? You couldn’t give me the heads-up? Like, somebody talking about I’m tattooing?”

She was like,

“That’s just a warning. You deny me tonight, and it’s gonna get worse.”

And she walked out.

So I’m like, this b… she the one set this up because I wouldn’t give it to her! Oh, she did this, she set this up. Remember, I told y’all this is their house, they do what they want to do up in here. She had the power to get me shook down because I wouldn’t give her the you-know-what.

So I’m thinking like, okay, now this just turned real serious.

Right before lockdown, she come up to me and she like,

“I got them.”

So she showed me the gold package, and I’m like,

“Okay, cool, cool, bet.”

So she was like,

“You better be ready, too, and don’t be playing them games tonight.”

So I went in the cell and I’m thinking like, what can I do to get out of this? I already know this chick crazy, so what can I do to get out of this and not get in trouble? So I’m like, I don’t know what the heck I’m gonna do. What am I gonna do to get out of this?

So I lay down and I get ready for this unholy consummation. So she come in there around three o’clock and she’s like,

“Okay, come on, let’s do it, let’s do it!”

So then I’m like,

“All right, hold on, hold on.”

So she like,

“Yeah, come on.”

So she laid me down on my back and she kissed me on the cheek, and I just lost it. I just melted, like, oh, my goodness, ugh.

So she was like,

“All right, come on.”

So she get… she take the condom off, she open the package up, and I’m like,

“All right, just hold on, give me a minute.”

So then I get up and I go to the toilet. So she’s like,

“Hurry up, hurry up!”

So… so I open it and I’m fumbling with the wrapper and I go, oops, and the condom fall in the toilet.

She’s like,

“What happened? What happened?”

I said,

“Oh, man, I dropped it. I dropped the condom.”

She was like,

“Uh-uh, uh-uh, why did you do that? Why did you do that?”

I said,

“No, I just dropped it, you know it’s dark up here.”

She was like,

“Keep your voice down! Keep your voice down!”

And then I was… so then I’m like… like cough loud. And she was like,

“What are you doing?”

I said… I said,

“Man, I got a bad cough.”

So I got to coughing loud. She’s like,

“You’re making too much noise!”

So she leave out the cell. You know, thank God. I said, okay, good, I done dodged this bullet.

But she came right back in there with another condom! She was like,

“All right, I’m not playing with you, come on here, let’s do it. Matter of fact, I’m gonna put it on you.”

I’m gonna tell y’all something: a man can be violated by a woman. A lot of you guys out there might be like,

“Oh, man, I would have broke that down.”

A lot of you cats out there ain’t got no principles, no morals. A lot of y’all standards are substandard. I couldn’t do it.

So she’s like,

“No, I’m gonna put it on for you, I’m gonna put it on for you.”

And I’m like, ugh.

So then I’m like, you know what… So as she… so she… so she grabbing at my pants, but I’m holding my pants for like dear life. She said… she like,

“Man, stop! What are you doing? Come on!”

I’m like,

“No, I’m good, I’m good.”

She like,

“So you really gonna… you’re really gonna do this?”

I’m like,

“Man, I’m straight.”

So she’s like,

“All right, okay. You say… Okay, you want to be like that? All right.”

So she walk out the cell. So at this point in time, I’m thinking to myself like, you know what, I don’t even care no more, I don’t care. Whatever’s gonna happen is gonna happen.

So it’s count time, and I get up to open my cell door to go out for count, and my door won’t open. And I’m like,

“Yo, what’s going on?”

They say,

“You’re on lockdown.”

I said,

“For what? I got up for count.”

This woman… it’ll come to me later on in the day that this woman wrote me up for being vulgar, talking to her vulgar. I end up getting a ticket, right? But she said she didn’t want to press charges against me for talking to her vulgar, so they gave me a warning. I had to be in my room for two days like a child. That was her retaliation against me.

So on the third day, I finally get out and she walk up to me with a big smile on her face, and she like,

“How’s my poor baby?”

And I’m like… I said,

“You dead wrong, man.”

She was like,

“What? What did I do?”

I said,

“You… you treacherous. Why did you do that?”

She was like,

“What? What did I do? You know I can make your life way worse than it is, right, inmate?”

I end up going to breakfast, I got my tray walking down the line. They put the frozen apples on there, they put the two hard-boiled eggs on my tray, burnt, tore-up Texas toast on there, and I grabbed me a milk. As I turn to my left to exit out the line, boom! Guess who’s standing there? CO Sarah. Boom! My tray get tipped, everything flies this way, and she said,

“Watch your step, inmate.”

So dudes looking at me like, what the heck going on over there?

Sarah will go on to pick and mess with me for the next four days. I go to the shower and she’ll cut the water off, or I’ll be in the shower and she’ll cut the hot water off and it’ll be just cold water. Or I would have random shakedowns in my cell. Like I said, this will go on for about four days.

Saturday rolls around. Remember, I told y’all she does not work on the weekend. At this point in time, I’m like, you know what, I’m gonna end up doing something to this woman and end up never getting out of here. Yeah, I could have gave her what she wanted, but ugh. So I said, you know what, I gotta go to the hole.

So I went to my room, I packed all my stuff up, and I went to the control booth. I knocked on the glass. The sergeant that was in there was like,

“What’s going on?”

I said,

“I need to talk to you for a minute.”

He like,

“All right, what’s going on?”

I said,

“I fear for my life. I feel like somebody in here trying to kill me.”

“Who was trying to kill you?”

I said,

“I don’t want to give no names, but I just… I just fear for my life and I need to get out of here.”

At this point in time, if you tell a guard that you fear for your life and they don’t get you out of there and something happen to you, big lawsuit. So he like,

“All right, all right, cool.”

So he said,

“Go get your stuff.”

Already… I already have my stuff ready. Went upstairs, grabbed my stuff, came in office. Dudes looking like, what the heck going on? He checking in? Why D checking in? What the heck going on?

The moral of this story is this: in prison, you only have so much control of what you can do and what you can’t do. You only have so much control of your life and decisions that you make. These COs, they can make your life a living hell up in there. They control your movement, they control what you eat, they control the temperature of the water in the shower that’s getting put on your body.

Sarah will go on to find her a new boy toy, and well, he was busting that thing wide open. Ugh, good, I’m free. I end up doing a month in the hole till they put me in a new block.